America Welcomes Back Jennifer Aniston and a Democratic President

In case you’ve been abroad lately, let me let you in on a little stateside trend: America is obsessing over Jennifer Aniston. Again. Back in the late 1990s, Jennifer rocked the shag like it was her job (frankly, it was), and was the perfect middle American girl-next-door fantasy. Fast forward to November 2008, and she’s back on the cover of the New York Times magazine and Vogue, her name is being volleyed by all the professional gossips, and Star Magazine readers are referring to her by first name. It’s Jeneration 2.0, and the new Jen is one that has the country wrapped around her little finger not for some cutesy haircut but for, well, we don’t quite know.

Sure she recently appeared on 30 Rock and was hilarious, but that was really more because of the wittiest screenwriters sit-coms can buy these days. Sure she’s still got a body tighter and tinier than most 20-year-olds, but that’s really more the ubiquitous low carb diet and Pilates routine. So what is it about her? Well, Aniston is America personified right now.

Like the United States itself, Aniston suffered a pretty awful betrayal (Brangelina), which she tried to react to with as much angst as a pimple might produce, since all eyes were on her. While in the US there have been a few loud voices saying, “WTF!?” to the faux WMDs, mostly we’ve been pretty much shuffling our collective feet around with about as much disappointment as is inspired by losing money in a jukebox. We’re calm, we’re cool, we’re collected. Unlike Vietnam era citizens, we say that what Dubya did was really uncool.

Perhaps one reason that it’s been so difficult to denounce Bush has been his appropriation of the Second Coming of Tradition. He’s a born again Christian who’s espoused family values and security (though perhaps entering a war isn’t such a great security measure.) In the meantime, we’ve got Brad and Angelina creating the multi-ethnic Brady family, and no one bats an eye because it’s always been assumed that though Brad may have screwed his way out of his marriage with Aniston, Aniston screwed herself out of marriage by not squeezing a few out. Yes, that’s right, in this little metaphor, Jennifer Aniston is the career woman who got left by her man for a foxy baby maker.

As America prepares for the presidency of a junior senator we chose because he championed Change We Can Believe In, even Jen is taking up with a younger man, Mr. John Mayer. As America ushers the Dems back into the White House, we're also taking back the ultimate Clinton era small screen celebrity, Jennifer Aniston.

Okay, so maybe the subconscious Jen Is The Washed Up Actress Version of America explanation is a bit faulty, but I can’t figure out any other explanation for her revival in the public eye, as she’s not starred in anything fantastic lately or even become a crazed 40-year-old party tart. Then again, maybe America is just that bored, just ADD enough to be over the philanthropic Jolie-Pitts, just flipping channels restlessly.