This is one of the best things I've read all week.

From Sunday Morning Quarterback:

"Terrelle Pryor arrives on campus this weekend to enroll in the summer semester, carried by hordes of shirtless, grunting slaves on a platform flanked with statues of roaring lions to clear his path and golden calves kneeling while turning in humility from his splendor, and preceded by an army of hundreds of thousands dedicated to the expansion of the power, influence and absurd wealth of the divine prince among them. Verily, the earth shall quake at his presence, nations and skirts shall fall with a wave of his hands and the strongest men must bow before their master or flee a certain doom."