Quinnipiac is a small pristine, perfectly manicured campus filled with perfectly manicured waspie students. The campus is constantly being groomed around the clock and the students seem to be handpicked by Lilly Pullitzer and Ralph Lauren. Because of the exclusivity at Quinnipiac, the pickins’ are slim for a good muckraking journalist and the proof is in the pudding paper.

The Quad News has had a slow news week with weak stories to report on. Here a just a few of the headlines plaguing the Quinnipiac news world.

LGBT: Do you know what it means? – Sure, I know the stereotypes of Quinnipiac students are spray-tanned blondes from Long Island and dumb, diehard Red Sox fans from Massachusetts but yea, I think we know what a gay person is. Thanks for the heads up though.

Pumpkin ice cream returns to Wentworth's – Sound the alarms, call the President – Wentworth’s has pumpkin ice cream! The economy is blowing up in flames but we’re concerned with pumpkin ice cream.

QU students focus on the issues – Okay, I retract my earlier statement – apparently Quinnipiac students DO care about the issues. Not reporting them, just commenting on them.

So there you have it, a boring week in review at Quinnipiac University.