It seems everyone has at least one ridiculous story involving UGA cops that take themselves way too seriously. After four years in Athens I had somehow escaped their wrath, until Saturday’s game against Tennessee.

After walking around campus all day drinking, a friend and I were sitting inside Sanford stadium waiting on his roommates. All of a sudden he’s holding this huge chocolate chip cookie, still fully wrapped.

It was warm and gooey and smelled awesome. I mean yeah it was warm from sitting out in the sun all day and not fresh from an oven, but whatever - it had been a long day. Of course, we tear it open and start eating. Honestly, the best cookie I’ve ever had. After drinking all day with nothing to eat, it was an upgrade. But not two bites into my snack-turned-lunch did two UGA cops come running over to us, screaming:

“Get the hell out of here! You’re out of the game!”
“Huh?” We just kind of looked at each other, now slowly eating the cookie instead of inhaling it like before.
“You’ve just stolen police property, and if you don’t leave this premise right now I will have you arrested! Put it down!”

We kind of laugh in that awkward “I don’t know what hell is going on” kind of laugh. This only enraged them more.

I honestly didn’t know what was going on; surely this lady was messing with me. It wasn’t until she got on her radio and her partner (I guess) came over and explained the situation did I fully comprehend that I was actually getting kicked out of a football game for eating an old cookie found on a table. Apparently the cops had all received one for the day and the fat lady cop was saving it for halftime. Seriously.

After this crazy woman continued to yell for a few more minutes she asked if we had anything to say. All my friend could ask was, “You want the rest?”

She was still threatening us as we left the game, hysterically laughing. I’m not sure if I should be embarrassed or annoyed, but either way it wasn’t easy having to explain to my parents (who had come up for the game) why I couldn’t come meet up with them at halftime.